JutitsuPracticed by the Shaolin nuns of Tibet,
Jutitsu is the art of tit combat. The nuns develop their jugs over many years
until they can manouvre them like a couple of tit like arms. They often hold
boob fighting competitions and battle for the coveted Golden Bra of
Wan kin OffThe secret of any martial art is to
always be prepared, in any situation, at any time... This includes having a tug
of the old todge. Wan Kin Off is the art of pressure jizing practiced by the
monks of Ming. It involves a technique known as finger over japs
eye which allows the monk to build up enough pressure during the vinegar
stroke to enable him to jiz a jet of lethal juice.
Death DildoMany Oriental women learn to defend
themselves using the practiced art of lobbing dildo's. A well practiced dildo
lobber can throw with such force that she could kill an attacker from over a
EggchakuVibrating love eggs are seen as a simple
marital aid which a woman slaps up her cunt to get a cheap thrill. But to the
Ninja Warriors missus they double up as a lethal weapon in the art of
Eggchaku. When Bruce is away walking through walls and stuff, Mrs
Bruce needs to protect herself, so she never goes anywhere without first
inserting her lethal love eggs.
Karate ChopperYour knob isn't just for pissing
out of. With practice, will power and self control you can turn your plonker
into a dangerous tool. Cock Karate was originally developed as a
form of unarmed combat for ninja warriors who lost their arms in battle.
Nowadays Cock Karate is more commonly used in martial arts displays. Grand
masters use their knobs to crush blocks of ice, smash planks of wood, and fuck
large sumo women.
FlappisakkiIn many Eastern martial arts, the
opponent is incapcitated using the pressure point technique. A quick poke in the
right place and your assailer hits the deck like a sack of spuds.
Flappisakki takes the pressure point technique a step further, when
the vibrating fanny is strategically placed on one of the body's many sensitive
pressure point's it virtually fucks your opponent into a coma.
Kunt FuOrgasms are utilised to their full
potential in Kunt Fu. The basics behind this unusual fighting form
involves frigging oneself to an orgasmic frenzy then releasing the cum into the
face of your opponent. Whilst he is blinded by your excitement you kick fuck out
Fisting of FuryProbably the best form of defence
is attack. If you throw the first blow you are most likely to take an advantage
of the situation. The Fisting of Fury, a combat method used by the
Bruce's of Lee Monks, uses an attack from behind technique. Wait
until your opponent isnt looking, then ram your arm up his arse. The sudden
shock should knock him unconcious and allow you to nick his wallet before
The art of sex 'n' violence was extracted from Smut -
The alternative comic
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