Cried the fair young maiden.
Oh, it's only me from across the sea,
Cried Barnacle Bill the sailor.

Why are you knocking at my door?
Cried the fair young maiden.
'Cos I'm young enough, and ready and tough,
Cried Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

You can sleep upon the floor.
Oh, get off the floor, you dirty old whore.

You can sleep upon the mat.
Oh, bugger the mat you can't fuck that.

You can sleep upon the stairs.
Oh, bugger the stairs they haven't got hairs.

You can sleep between my tits.
Oh, bugger your tits they give me the shits.

You can sleep between my thighs.
Oh, bugger your thighs they're covered in flies.

You can sleep within my cunt.
Oh, bugger your cunt but I'll fuck for a stunt.

What will we do when the baby's born?
Oh, we'll drown the bugger and fuck for another.