Appointing a Leader
The following section is borrowed from the "Space Corps Survival Manual".
In a survival situation, there is always the possibility that your commanding officer will have been lost in the disaster. Perhaps he will have died in an enemy attack, perished trying to pilot your ship to safety, or pehaps - as in the case of my first space disaster - he'll have tripped and hit his head in the rush to get to the grav-chutes before everyone else.
What does it matter - he's dead. You're not. So take his clothes, steal his valuables and then, depending on you mood - eat him, bury him or play hoopla with his genitalia to pass the time until your rescue.
With your leader dead your first task is to appoint a new leader.
To identify who among you possesses the most leadership qualities, consider :
- Is there someone who never fetches or carries anything for him / her self?
- Who relies on others to accomplish even the most rudimentary task that they could perform themselves?
- Who is quick to find fault with others and is equally quick to spring to their own defence at the tiniest of criticisms?
- Who readily takes credit for anything good that happens but whenever anything goes wrong desperately tries to put the blame on you?
There is? The Congratulations!!! You've found your leader!
Are you a leader?
To assist in the rapid appointment of a new leader in a possible emergency survival situation, readers are requested to list the Leadership Qualities.
Name : Arnold Rimmer
Leadership Qualities : Looks good in uniform. Already has nice short 'leader' type haircut. Have been known to salute officers BEFORE they enter a room. Does GREAT General Patton impression (walk only).
Name : Cat
Leadership Qualities : If dropped form a high place will always land on my feet (unless drunk) - and frequently on someone else's. Can outrun a space weevil. Will provide own dress uniform.
Name : Kryten
Leadership Qualities : Very good at vacuuming. Superb ironer. Uh, thats it... No wait. Have commanded an army of three skutters (who voted me "Mech most likely to be mutinied against").
Name :Dave Lister
Leadership Qualities : Can drink twelve pints, two rum chasers, eat four bags of crisps and a mixed tandoori special and not throw up on anyone on the way home.
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This page was last updated 19th December 1997